3 Ways Black Communities Can Love Like Abolitionists

family sitting around a table boardgame
Zain Murdock
February 15, 2025

“Abolition,” or the modern movement to dismantle prisons and policing, invites us to knock down the systems that hurt us and build something better. But it also exposes how WE often violently police each other and how we can love each other BETTER. Here are three ideas.

#1: Practice loving accountability - If someone you love hurts you, or vice versa, don’t just throw them away. We all need to learn accountability: true self-reflection, making genuine apologies and amends, and changing harmful behaviors.

#2: Don’t be a tyrant to children - From hitting children to forcing them to give hugs, society teaches us that children don’t have rights, aren’t allowed to set their own boundaries, and that love comes with violence. But we can learn from kids and teach them to communicate their needs now and in the future.

#3: Open up the nuclear family - An abolitionist family doesn’t have to be “wife, husband, child, pet.” Many happy families are already single-parent or LGBTQ, but we can also show up for each other through a “chosen” family, which is just as important, whether through mutual aid or relative adoptions.

When we have strong Black families based on love instead of the punishment model our criminal legal system is based on, we have strong Black communities.

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